On the verdict on Saddam...

Saddam Hussein,Wahingtons one time best ally was hanged today under a sentence imposed by an Iraqi court for alleged crimes agisnt humanity.“Today, Saddam Hussein was executed after receiving a fair trial — the kind of justice he denied the victims of his brutal regime,” President Bush said in a written statement released after the execution by the White House.“Bringing Saddam Hussein to justice will not end the violence in Iraq,” Bush continued, “but it is an important milestone on Iraq's course to becoming a democracy that can govern, sustain, and defend itself, and be an ally in the War on Terror.”......War on terror,fair trial,democracy..these words sound ridiculous when they emanate from Mr. Bush's mouth...

The proceedings and death verdict agaisnt saddam by a court of the puppet government under the US occupation in iraq are illegal and unfair.The court is a product of Us agression The US occupied iraq on the basis of a delusion...a lie...and in violation of the Un charter.The Hussain Government did not have any weapons of mass destruction or any connection with the Al-quaida...and thus did not pose any threat to the US.

Saddam Hussein was the "prisoner of war" of the US.He could not be tried under the US occupation for any alleged crime committed before the war of agression was unleashed.The timing of the sentence was also politically motivated....in terms of the midterm elections in favour of the Republican Party of Bush.And the fart about fair trial can be silenced by the fact that the series of murders of his lawyers...and substitution of judges....

The charge against Hussain and his co-defendants for having allegdely murdered 143 people in retaliation for a failed assassination attempt on his life.He committed these crimes he when he was Washington's best friend in the Arab world. America knew all about his atrocities and even supplied the gas - along with the British.By hanging this awful man, the Americans hope to look better than him, to remind Iraqis that life is better now than it was under Saddam...The crimes committed by Saddam cant compare to to the colossal crime of agression perpetrated by the US agsints Iraqi people..the US has already killed more athn 650000 Iraqi people since 2003...500,000 children out of the 1.5 million killings of Iraqis during the period of ecenomic sanctions from 1991 onwards...

it is bush who is the dusgusting tyrant and hypocrite..he needs to be put on trial....How do the Americans forget Abu ghraib and other prisons in Cuba...where prisoners were sexually abused and some of the incarcerated there were killed on thh basis of mere suspicion.

Bush ur stupid...Saddam has now emerged as a patriot and martyr in the eyes of so many iraqis and arabs...

The Google algorythm couldnt have been more apt when it leads us to the White House site..when u google "miserable failure"....

Never saw a blue like that before.....

I always thought that Freud was a povert cos according to him the explaination of all kinds of human behaviour boils down to two set of instincts - life instincts (sex) and death instincts (aggression)....but i will spare no efforts in singing praises for his theory of the unconscious in terms of its depth...My favourite technique of psychoanalysis is free association.
It is a direct method of gaining access to an individual's hidden thoughts....and more importantly fears.

The basic rule of free association is that an individual must say whatever comes into his or her mind,regardless of how personal,painful or seemingly irrelevant it may be...usually a client sits comfortably in a chair or lies in a relaxed position on a couch and gives a running account of all the thoughts,feelings, and desires that come to mind as one idea leads to another.the therapist usually takes a position behind the client so as not to in any way distract or disrupt the free flow of associations... all memories are arranged in a single associative network, and eventaully the subject stumbles across the crucial memory...wow i remember quite a bit of what i was taught at xaviers..i better actually.

It works for me and im gonna indulge in meaningless babble today....the best compliment i gave to someone was "talking to you is like free association..." i hope that person understood the relevance of what i conferred upon that person....

as i said..im gonna jabber away today and scribble in this space here...i havent done it in sometime...i hope it at least comes close to the free association exercise tht i havent resorted to in a while...

Today at a weird hour i looked up at the sky.I remembered that song from runaway bride...never saw a blue like that before....blue is my favourite colour..it has that soothing effect on me that is unparalled....i still have the blue neon light in my room - the tube that u break and and the blue fluid shines in the dark...havent broken it yet..only cos after u break it..it shines merely for two days after that or lesser.i wouldnt like that blue colour to fade...so its still there....i havent taken the chance to have it illuminated only cos im deprived of the blue later... The saree i bought for timsy's wedding is also blue...i unconsciously look out for that colour....timys wedding...its scary for me..she'll go away after that to begin a new life far far far away from here..the most 'coveted' land - USA.Timsy,radhika,balkha,munmun....- one word for them has been HOME.....another word for them..FAMILY....i like blue cos i guess the sea is blue...and the vast expanse of the sea has always been my solace,my refuge..what is it about the sea..the sound of the sea..or probably the fact that its ubiquitous...i grew up with these guys always believing that the day i part ways with any one of them is always too far.....its suddenly not so far anymore .... seperation anxiety is something i associate with them.....

star gazing at nite..staring into the pervasive blue.. lying down on our terrace tanki till it felt like you can reach out for the stars.it feels like u can actually touch them and spread out your arms and engulf them in your embrace.

It feels so weird lecturing people around you about strength and solitude and learning to live without people...but somewhere you feel like you are falling into a bottomless pit....cos just how long do u move from one loss to another without loss of any enthusiasm..but then again happiness is not a state you achieve and keep..its something that has to be won over and over again....but then again..dont you feel like relying on the omnipresence of something other than yourself.i mean i know shit happens all the time in life and i really dont mind wading through this shit that life offers us...and the theory of relativity works most of the times.its not about needing something.y always throttle our wants jus cos they are not our basic needs....

its like that song stand by me...by john lennon... Im singing it really loud...and i dedicate it to my gang...:)
When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we see
No I wont be afraid
No I wont be afraid
Just as long as you stand,
stand by me
And darling, darling stand by me
Oh, now, now, stand by me
Stand by me, stand by me
If the sky that we look upon
Should tumble and fall
And the mountain should crumble to the sea
I wont cry, I wont cryNo I wont shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me
And darling, darling stand by me
Oh, stand by meStand by me, stand by me, stand by me
Whenever youre in trouble wont you stand by me
Oh, now, now, stand by me
Oh, stand by me, stand by me

DISCLAIMER : If you wanna hold on to your sanity..please dont try to psychoanalyse or try to make sense of it..cos some things are most beautiful if you dont try to explain them....

Somewhere i have never traveled gladly beyond...

There’s nothing like a Sunday morning to fill this space on my blog ….I’m listening to some amazing music…and sipping exotic herbal tea…I have switched off my cell phone. Of course I love my cell…or rather I need it but that’s my point. I feel enslaved.Try switching it off sometimes…anxiety levels go down…. they really do… at least for me. My audumber gang must be cursing me. I can hear radhi say…”what are u talking about? U never take calls cos your phone is always in your bum…”I looove u Radhi…J

I fear that my blogs will make me a recluse cos they have become my refuge…. my safe haven…. sometimes the more u meet people the more you don’t wanna know more people…books are better…Not that I’m a loner…cos people and their ways never fail to intrigue me…

On blissfully unrushed days when i kinda seek a sense of tranquility and churn the ‘windmills of my mind’ I unmistakably tread upon memories of my days as a Xavierite. Once a Xavierite you’re always a Xavierite even if you have studied at IIM after your tenure at Xavier’s. Xavierites are very passionate about their college life. Xavier’s was like a second home…on second thoughts Xaviers was home.

One of the cherished memories in my archives is the memory of my Literature class…especially the day when we rigorously discussed EE Cumming’s poem….”Somewhere I have never traveled gladly beyond…”
My mind begins wandering around the quintessentially arced premises…then the distant sounds of music filtering through the IMG (Indian Music Group) room…then the flight of stairs…. two floors…. huff and puff and swear words to curse the fact that we had to walk so much to reach the terrace classroom…it was almost akin to a journey to the exhilarating peak of a mountain from where the view is rewarding. This classroom up there on the terrace was equally worth it on that rainy day…. We were allowed to carry a cup of coffee to class that day. I remember reaching the classroom half drenched in my attempt to cover that cup of coffee….
A thin pink booklet – 20th Century American Verse…

Page 12 - Somewhere i have never traveled, gladly beyond…..

Somewhere i have never traveled, gladly beyond any experience,

your eyes have their silence:in your most frail gestures

are things which enclose me,or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look will easily unclose me though i have closed myself as fingers,

you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens(touching skillfully, mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,

as when the heart of this flower imagines the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals the power of your intense fragility: whose texture compels me with the color of its countries,rendering death

and forever with each breathing

i do not know what it is about you that closes and opens;

only something in me understands

the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses

nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands…


What stirs me about this poem is the mingling of the senses… ‘the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses…’, ‘your eyes have their silence’. The chaos of love reflected in the havoc played by his senses is rendered inimitably by Cummings. The sense of inadequacy of the poet to capture his feelings comes through beautifully….It’s a delightful confusion….

The imagery in the poem is more consistent than a first glance would indicate – especially the imagery having to do with opening and closing. The potency of this imagery hits you with all its force when you read the brilliant last line…. nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands…it has a strong tactile quality. Rain is such that it touches you everywhere because it’s wide reaching and pervasive (the rain thus has huge enveloping hands) …but Cummings goes beyond likening his beloved to the rain. She cannot physically shroud someone like the rain and in that sense has small hands but she penetrates everywhere and overwhelms the poet more comprehensively than the rains….hence...nobody,not even the rain has such small hands.



'your slightest look will easily unclose me though i have closed myself as fingers,you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens(touching skillfully, mysteriously)her first rose '

'Or if your wish be to close me, i and my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly…'

These indicate the vulnerability of the lover…of how his defenses are lowered….

“At its most immediate level, it is a poem that honors an inexplicable mystery: how, through the experience of love, one human being can awaken something in the beloved that nothing or no one else has .....” It further delivers the exquisiteness of relationships that cant be trapped in names..in words. It describes the many-leveled intimacy between a man and a woman.

It also reveals a mystical longing for transcendence that grows out of the experience of love. Transcendence is the experience of a dimension of life that is beyond all everyday categories, something that feels utterly complete, is timeless and silent, and conveys the feeling of being at the very root and essence of existence, beyond all distinctions of subject and object, of "I" and "you."

The title also signifies the quality of an incomplete experience….the anticipation….its always the elusive..the unfinished that is more beautiful….it reminds me of Gulzars song…Katra Katra…

Katra Katra milte hain
Katra katra jeene do
Zindagi hai..behno do…
Pyasi hoon main
Pyasi rehno do….
Will post the lyrics later ;)

Last Glimpse of Your Tenderness....

Aur Jab yaad ki bujhti hui shamaon mein nazar aya kahin...
Ek pal, akhri lamha teri dildari ka...
Dard itna tha ki usse bhi guzarna chaha...
Hamne chaha bhi..magar dil na thahar paya...
- FAIZ AHMED FAIZ

Read as....
Somewhere in memory's dying candlelight...
I chanced upon the last glimpse of your tenderness..a momentary vision...
The pain was such that i desired to pass it up..
I indeed wished, but my heart was feeble...it asked me to act otherwise...

LAST NIGHT

Last night your faded memory so came into my heart...
Like spring's calm advent in the wilderness
Like the zephyr slowly drapes the deserts...
As rest comes without cause to a sick man....

Windmills of your mind

Round ....wish the world is really round..where what you may perceive as an end may just be the beginning(eternal optimist me!!!) or what may seem like the beginning may just be an end...(the truth)

Round....implies that theres no dead end....somewhere ends always meet...

Round...a football..the shapes what makes it easier to kick around...

Round, like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel.
Never ending or beginning,
On an ever spinning wheel
Like a snowball down a mountain
Or a carnival balloon
Like a carousel that's turning
Running rings around the moon
Like a clock whose hands are sweeping
Past the minutes on it's face
And the world is like an apple
Whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind
Like a tunnel that you follow
To a tunnel of it's own
Down a hollow to a cavern
Where the sun has never shone
Like a door that keeps revolving
In a half forgotten dream
Or the ripples from a pebble
Someone tosses in a stream.
Keys that jingle in your pocket
Words that jangle your head
Why did summer go so quickly
Was it something that I said
Lovers walking along the shore,
Leave their footprints in the sand
Was the sound of distant drumming
Just the fingers of your hand
Pictures hanging in a hallway
And a fragment of this song
Half remembered names and faces
But to whom do they belong
When you knew that it was over
Were you suddenly aware
That the autumn leaves were turning
To the color of her hair ....

Its always downhill after LALA LAND....

From the surreal to the real....

From the infinity of dreams to the abyss of nullity....

From the familiar smooth skies to the alien coarse terra firma...

From the intense silences to the cage of words...

From the reason in the insanity and the prudence in the frenzy to the madness in the method....

From a decade to a moment

Earth calling !!!!

The woman in love knows the most bitter solitude...

"Man's love is of man's life a thing apart,'Tis woman's whole existence "

A few observations of Nietzsche haunt me....as the self defeating tendencies of women including myself get more pronounced when i see them with men.She chooses to desire her enslavement so fervently that she begins to belive it is an expression of her liberty....

Simone De Beauvoir couldnt be more apt....Many women suffer in becoming adults;and so great a number remain obstinately babyish...prolonging their childhood indefinitely...To become a child again in a man's arms fills their cups with joy..."when will he come..he who can dominate me"

And then they expect themselves to be loving to their men unconditionally even to their own damage...she is content to be the one who is always there and the one who will always wait..eternally wait...cos i would rather wait for you than believe that you are not coming at all....A wait can be a dazzling promise when he si hastening towards her but when the exaltation fades theres an uneasy torment....She is habituated to living on her knees...

Love reveals us to ourselves by making us come outta ourselves....Love as a form of perception brings to light new skies and a new earth...even in the landcape where we have always lived...Here is the great secret : the world is different.I myslef am different.And im no longer alone in knowing it.Someone has apprised me of the fact...

When will women understand this...that she has to love not in her weakness but in her strength...not to escape herslef but to find herself...that day love will be be a source of life for her and not of immortal danger...