Never saw a blue like that before.....

I always thought that Freud was a povert cos according to him the explaination of all kinds of human behaviour boils down to two set of instincts - life instincts (sex) and death instincts (aggression)....but i will spare no efforts in singing praises for his theory of the unconscious in terms of its depth...My favourite technique of psychoanalysis is free association.
It is a direct method of gaining access to an individual's hidden thoughts....and more importantly fears.

The basic rule of free association is that an individual must say whatever comes into his or her mind,regardless of how personal,painful or seemingly irrelevant it may be...usually a client sits comfortably in a chair or lies in a relaxed position on a couch and gives a running account of all the thoughts,feelings, and desires that come to mind as one idea leads to another.the therapist usually takes a position behind the client so as not to in any way distract or disrupt the free flow of associations... all memories are arranged in a single associative network, and eventaully the subject stumbles across the crucial memory...wow i remember quite a bit of what i was taught at xaviers..i better actually.

It works for me and im gonna indulge in meaningless babble today....the best compliment i gave to someone was "talking to you is like free association..." i hope that person understood the relevance of what i conferred upon that person....

as i said..im gonna jabber away today and scribble in this space here...i havent done it in sometime...i hope it at least comes close to the free association exercise tht i havent resorted to in a while...

Today at a weird hour i looked up at the sky.I remembered that song from runaway bride...never saw a blue like that before....blue is my favourite colour..it has that soothing effect on me that is unparalled....i still have the blue neon light in my room - the tube that u break and and the blue fluid shines in the dark...havent broken it yet..only cos after u break it..it shines merely for two days after that or lesser.i wouldnt like that blue colour to fade...so its still there....i havent taken the chance to have it illuminated only cos im deprived of the blue later... The saree i bought for timsy's wedding is also blue...i unconsciously look out for that colour....timys wedding...its scary for me..she'll go away after that to begin a new life far far far away from here..the most 'coveted' land - USA.Timsy,radhika,balkha,munmun....- one word for them has been HOME.....another word for them..FAMILY....i like blue cos i guess the sea is blue...and the vast expanse of the sea has always been my solace,my refuge..what is it about the sea..the sound of the sea..or probably the fact that its ubiquitous...i grew up with these guys always believing that the day i part ways with any one of them is always too far.....its suddenly not so far anymore .... seperation anxiety is something i associate with them.....

star gazing at nite..staring into the pervasive blue.. lying down on our terrace tanki till it felt like you can reach out for the stars.it feels like u can actually touch them and spread out your arms and engulf them in your embrace.

It feels so weird lecturing people around you about strength and solitude and learning to live without people...but somewhere you feel like you are falling into a bottomless pit....cos just how long do u move from one loss to another without loss of any enthusiasm..but then again happiness is not a state you achieve and keep..its something that has to be won over and over again....but then again..dont you feel like relying on the omnipresence of something other than yourself.i mean i know shit happens all the time in life and i really dont mind wading through this shit that life offers us...and the theory of relativity works most of the times.its not about needing something.y always throttle our wants jus cos they are not our basic needs....

its like that song stand by me...by john lennon... Im singing it really loud...and i dedicate it to my gang...:)
When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we see
No I wont be afraid
No I wont be afraid
Just as long as you stand,
stand by me
And darling, darling stand by me
Oh, now, now, stand by me
Stand by me, stand by me
If the sky that we look upon
Should tumble and fall
And the mountain should crumble to the sea
I wont cry, I wont cryNo I wont shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me
And darling, darling stand by me
Oh, stand by meStand by me, stand by me, stand by me
Whenever youre in trouble wont you stand by me
Oh, now, now, stand by me
Oh, stand by me, stand by me

DISCLAIMER : If you wanna hold on to your sanity..please dont try to psychoanalyse or try to make sense of it..cos some things are most beautiful if you dont try to explain them....