DEAR APARTMENT

Dear Apartment,

On a bustling working day in early December amidst the usual mad rush, I remember receiving a frenetic call from my parents. The pitch was feverish… like they had struck gold. Vaibi and me dropped everything and rushed to see what they had stumbled upon. It was YOU. Our first encounter was like a testament of serendipity. YOU happened to us and reaffirmed our faith in the way things work out, especially with us -- at their own time…when we are least aware. Suo Tempore …right? Just when we were dismissing the idea of buying a house in Mumbai as a pipe dream, you showed up in our life and we at your doorstep.

It was not the bait of ‘NO DOWNPAYMENT, NO BLACK MONEY, 24 HOURS PANI’ that compelled us as much as this feeling that came over me when I sized you up…it was a faint surge of anticipation like something good was happening but was not immediately apparent. Something about you in this unfamiliar place made me feel rooted.

And then…You had me at the big airy balcony. Outside, a gentle breeze ruffled the leaves of a towering tree and a canopy of the bluest sky stretched endlessly across my vision. I had claimed my corner. When I took in the whole of you from there, you looked like a puppy with heart melting brown eyes, begging me to take you home. And then just like that I felt at home.

Other than that you were a nester’s nightmare. (Ya…Ya….I owe it to you --- the discovery that I am a secret nester. I confess that I like to build a cozy home---a house that reeks of me -- full of things that make me happy.) At the risk of sounding redundant, you were a nightmare – a mesh of naked wires, mutilated walls patched up with garish images of Hindu Gods and Goddesses, ill-fitted doors and ugly bulky wall to wall furniture that clamored for space. I wanted to uncover every nook that you embraced…explore every irrepressible story that every square inch of you was dying to tell. And I agree that in the process a torrent of atrocities was unleashed. The iron grills that separated you from the perfect blue-grey celestial stretch overhead were done away with, so I could lie in your lap and tickle the sky’s belly with my toe. We got you high on turpentine and then when you drifted out of sweet slumber you saw that you were stripped of everything you hid behind. Unnecessary walls that tried to rein in your unbridled verve came down and you were dressed in shades of turquoise and gold. You weaved almost all the possibilities I imagined in your canvas. As I reinvented you, you made me come alive in more ways than one. There you were - elegant and vulnerable – slowly becoming mine!

We gloated with pride. We were objects of envy and admiration. You – ‘OUR FIRST HOUSE – IN OUR VERY OWN NAMES’ conferred upon us this rare sense of accomplishment. It was with you that we brought in these rollicking sublime years of adulthood. Then Mortgage Mountains threatened to crush our spirit…

There were days when I wanted to get into bed, put the blanket over my head and imagine that I’ve disappeared from the world. Days when I wanted to BE and didn’t want to BECOME. At such times, you insulated me from things that got to me. Coming ‘home’ to you from anywhere else strangely made everything alright. When sunshine came in timidly in the morning and all would be quiet except the birdsong, you would allow us a glimpse of life in its barest simplicity. I can never forget the warm burnished yellow glow you sprinkled on me as I savoured my morning cuppa.


We
Cooked (I could swear that you wished you were human when the smell of prawns curry wafted out of our kitchen)
cleaned
fought
made up
made out
danced
laughed
learned
cheered
reminisced
Got drunk, Got creative, Got inspired
Had Brainwaves
Had the most stimulating conversations
Faded into quiet cuddly moments
And made friends for life ---

All this…right here, with reckless abandon

Though these last 6 months have been all about work, slogging it out within your expanse made everything easier. Remember how I subjected you to my long dreary monologues. Sitting alone with you in my dark moments, my solitude would be peopled at once.

We took our first steps towards our dreams in your arms – Galleon Technologies and Dipti K Ideas were conceived here. All this flattery must bloat your head…huh? Did I hear you say --- BRING IT ON! Okay then…There’s more. There’s a lilting rhythm to you. One of those nights when I wept, I could almost hear you sing to me --- …“Slow down you're doing fine. You can't be everything you want to be…Before your time.” It was during one of these random rants, you reconciled me to myself. I understood that even if I tried, I wouldn't be able to live outside my passions...You pushed me to seize life by the lapel saying, 'You don't need a safety net...You'll figure this out."

When I did get in touch with ME, I had to accept that I am quite a GYPSY at heart.

We have to go. I hope you understand.

Thanks
for loving us back,
for housing our hopes, fears and dreams but above all
for the gift of perspective.

P.S. I ripped you open – layer by layer --- till you could see all you could be. It was exhilarating and equally exhausting. Don’t go back to your old ways…Don’t allow anyone to bring the blinds down on your bright soul.