Plethora of definitions of love can be found in some of the mushiest numbers by some of the most popular boy bands. Manifestations of popular culture have succinctly testified that most people enter into romantic relationships as a gratifying assurance of their own worth.
It would be difficult to present a typical picture of love or a long-standing relationship, but according to social psychology it is made up of 3 components-intimacy, passion, commitment. Most of the short-term relationships are based entirely on passion. Friendship is what endures when passion wanes. I have come across few people who understand the importance of conversations, of communication. I believe that the best foreplay is of the verbal kind!!!
I have seen people walk into disasters for relationships (I have done that myself) when they get into them for all the wrong reasons. Self-analysis should be the important step for the person on the brink of a relationship. Love is when someone fits in what you know of yourself. Thus love begins with accepting yourself after which you can accept your loved one. It would be unfair to twist a person you love with your own image; otherwise you only love the reflection of yourself that you find in them. If there is mutual acceptance then you don’t have to endow your partner with something he does not possess. You don’t have to delude yourself into seeing in this loved person an ideal perfection you have never been able to realize within yourself. You are less concerned with appearances. A relationship is definitely about a few sacrifices but it is not about a surrender of selfhood. Love cannot really be love if it drains one person to nourish another. Love is not an all giving or all taking relationship. It is about sharing, sharing dreams, sharing the small pleasures and pains of everyday lives.
Love is not always an all-consuming response like slipping over a banana peel. It does have its high points. But happiness in love would be an attainable goal if you consider love as a peaceful coexistence, an experience where your uniqueness is appreciated as a separate self. It is friendship at its best. Love is when you find someone inexhaustible.
Its not like Im a pro at relationships….but in my next few blogs…I intend to radiate some of my psycho gyaan on relationships !!! My attempt at challenging stereotypes!! It is not easy to change life-long habits and to 'recondition' yourself to react in more emotionally intelligent ways .the new ways get easier with time and practice and I consider myself living proof that one can make major changes in their lives.
2 comments:
very well said. the best foreplay is of the verbal kind, would like to try that myself :) but u go girl !! being in love and making it work is perhaps the hardest thing one can do, coz it needs working on, every single day of your life. emotional intelligence is a must!
Well.. I have a diff look at this then Radhi...
Why do you have to make things work EVERYDAY?? Shouldnt they just happen.. something subconsciously. When you start doing things for the relationship knowingly, be aware...You are trying to save it!!
It is friendship at its best This is the best sentence you have written Dipzz.
I like your idea of giving time and practice to the new ways being "emotional intelligence". Awaiting your next snippet of "Love Dose"!! hehehe
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